"Now, Ashlee, here's what's going to happen. You'regoing to beg me to make out with you. You're going to tell me how great itwill be. And DO NOT STOP. Understand?"And so I started talking. It was even more humiliating than I'd dreamed. "Ilike think it would be soooo cool to like make out with you. I would likelove to taste like your mouth..." I babbled on, straining my ears? That'swhere I was. Had he swiped my key and driven off with my car? Had he left,amused or bored? What if someone else showed up? Suddenly a strong smellreminiscent of my own teenage years hit me. Axe. Just as I was processingthat, I felt hands on my face, and a tongue shoved itself into my mouth.It was happening! After 38 years, my first kiss with a guy. On Halloween,with me so helpless and hopeless! For the next several minutes, his tongueworked on mine. His breath wasn't bad - to be honest I was hoping forDoritos and Mountain Dew for the full experience. To be kneeling there inthis ridiculous outfit, my bells. I soon realized that living anywhere near the campus was out of the question. Well, never mind. I just widened the circle. And kept widening it.But then I had a stroke of luck: a notice on a board in a pub I walked into. I didn't fancy my chances, but I called the number anyway. The woman at the other end hesitated for a moment but then confirmed that the room was still available. I told her that I was coming over to check it out.The address, when I got there, turned out to be a brand new town house with a view of the river. I rang the bell and the door was answered by a woman who looked to be in her forties, with short grey hair and piercing blue eyes. She gave me the once-over.'Yes?' she asked, and I recognized her voice from the phone.'I called you half an hour ago,' I said. 'About the room. The notice in the pub.''Ah, yes. You must be... Karen? I'm Hilda. No trouble finding me?' She smiled for the first time.'No,' I said, looking around. 'It's lovely here. I didn't know they had.
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